Pastor Sunday Adelaja
Central Church

Irresponsible attitude to own word and commitments (Leadership School #7)

What is the word?

The word is not just a tool we describe reality or our desires by – as the average person understands. Rather the word is the essence of a person who speaks a word, a form of manifestation of my inner being out.

Word is a method of self-manifestation, the phenomena of someone’s personality.

There is nothing more important than words

If I know that the word is my identity then I would die to fulfill what I had promised. As long as there are my reputation, my name and I myself in my word.

Characteristics of people who keep their word

People who got used to keep their word had been repeatedly tested by life, and empirically determined that they would not change their word. Only these people are ready to get married.

If a person didn’t get used to keep his word it means that the word means nothing  to him, he will neglect the word:

“If I want I will give I don’t want I will take it back.” You’re risking your life, handing over your life into the hands of such a person .

Example: divorce.

The man gives the word that he will protect, love and all of a sudden he becomes a traitor, kills by his word or action. The least we expect danger and pain from the person who we expect will protect us. There is important position of a man: he gave his word, and did not keep it. At the word peace is kept, and the family is also kept up on it.

Pastor Sunday’s understanding of fidelity to the word. Whatever Pastor Bose does, no matter what happens, even if she would give her an excuse to leave, Pastor Sunday had promised to be with her ​​for the rest of his life, and nothing can break it.


Tip for men: If a man keeps his word to a woman, she will not go anywhere. Even if a man does the 50 % of what he promised, no woman will go away.

People do not have a measure of truth

Man changes himself. If his actions do not correspond to what he says God will not take this man seriously. To live in the truth, in all fairness means to live so that my inner world could match external reality.

Live in deception – that’s what you do for show, not how you feel. Falsehood, split of personality is schizophrenia, this is a decay and destruction of the inner essence of the person, thus leaving only the outer shell. With his wife he is one at work he is other, with friends – another.

The man has promised something and then you have to ask him again: ” Have you done it or not.” Not only that people do not, but forget that they has promised something, do not remember what they have said . Then the question arises: where were you when you say that?

Example: people promise to come to church, then you call them and suddenly they have train tickets, they have to go somewhere. Then why do they say, even if they did not plan to do it?

If a person uses words to cover up, disguise his intentions, he is a liar before God. This leads to a terrible fate.

“But for the cowardly, unbelieving, sinners, abominable, murderers, sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their part is in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.” (Revelation 21:8)

What distinguish us from God

For as the rain comes down and the snow from the sky,and doesn’t return there, but waters the earth, and makes it grow and bud, and gives seed to the sower and bread to the eater; so is my word that goes out of my mouth: it will not return to me void, but it will accomplish that which I please, and it will prosper in the thing I sent it to do. (Isaiah 55:10-11)

Word needs to be pronounced to its fulfillment.

Absolute faith in the word of God gives an absolute result.

Pastor Sunday’s example.

For the pastor everything what he hears is an axiom, a law. Thus, it applies to the word of God and his own word: “If I said something It will be done, you can relax.” Pastor Sunday’s performance of obligations percentage is 90-95 %. The reason why the pastor is trying to do this is because the truth is his standard.

The reasons of the irresponsible attitude to own words.

1. People are driven by emotions, not truth.

2. People are driven by public opinion. People fear somebody will think about them bad, “What people will say about me? “. To have public opinion on his side, the man says what is required, what everyone wants to hear, or keep silent when he has to speak. People play roles.

“Do not rely on public opinion. This is not a lighthouse but the friar’s lantern” (Andre Maurois).

People play the game, depending on the situation. Smiling to pastor Sunday and run in front of him, and go out from the pastor and behave differently. People want to please everyone, and therefore go against of conscience.

“People think that it is better to err in the crowd than to follow the truth alone” (Claude – Adrian Helvetius).

God gave us the right to have free will. And even God himself did not dare to encroach upon the will of man.

Example: even if pastor Sunday asks pastor Bose to put on some particular clothes, she often says, ” I like the way I  am dressed now!”. It’s her choice – a manifestation of free will – and no one can break it. We can recommend or advise, but it is not necessary to agree: “Since my husband has said I should do what I do not want to.”

«Be yourself. Surrounding which approve or condemn your actions one day will go – but the consequences of submission to their will or independence will remain with you ” ( Brad Jensen ) .

«Everybody wants something to happen, and everyone is afraid, as if something could happen ” ( B.Okudzhava ) .

3 . The fear of saying “no”

It is a fear to face misunderstanding, persecution.

4 . A person lives  under the influence of cultural traditions

5 . Lack of analysis, superficiality

6. Lack of respect

7. Selfishness

8. The lack of self-respect

9. Opportunism (conformity)

Circumstances have changed and people changed.

Conformity is a feature of the individual, which is expressed in the tendency to conformism (from lat . Conformis – «same,” “conformable”)  that is, change individual settings , opinions , perceptions , behaviors, and so on according to those that prevail in a given society or in the group.

In this case, the dominant position does not necessarily have to be expressed explicitly, or even exist in reality.

Types of conformity

Traditionally distinguish two types of conformity :

Internal – associated with a real person reviewing their positions, views (comparable to the self-censorship). External – associated with avoiding to an external, behavioral level to oppose itself to the community.

The role of conformity

Conformism is widespread in today’s society protective behaviors.

A person, who uses conformism, ceases to be himself, fully absorb the kind of person that he is offered by a model of culture, and completely assimilates to the others, and what they expect to see from him. This allows the person does not feel a sense of loneliness and anxiety, but he has to pay for that loss of the “I “.

10. Reluctance to take responsibility for own words

Example: Parents teach their children, while they themselves do not behave as they say. This model: the discrepancy between words with deeds – children learn.

When a person does not think about what he was saying, it is an empty man and his life is empty.


You need to ask yourself the question:

Does every word of mine is able to materialize and, in fact, materialize?

Do I put myself into a word so that it works?

Do I check my words?

Do I put the system of protection of my words?

Do I control my words?

What people are in words, they are in life. The word – it is a tool of expressing yourself.

How much my word makes me significant in society?

Example: there were people who had achieved success thanks to their talent: Russian singers B.Moiseev, A.Pugacheva, A. Makarevich, V. Vysotsky. They were the holistic people, people of principles.

The way I’m serious about my word, determines my authority in society.

The way I take my word tremulously determines how much I’m going to have an impact on other people.

The result of a person’s life will never be more than the authority of his words. People of the word have credibility, weight, they are trusted, they are serious, so you need to be aware of what you say, to control the words which are coming out from you.

“A word spoken is past  recalling.”

Example: giving a promise to watch a movie, Pastor Sunday binds himself with the word.

Index of responsibility – is the ratio of the truth in person.

“I will do everything what is in my power» – this is the right answer, which means: “I do not promise to do as you understand, but I will do from my side what I only can .” But my “everything” may be different from your “everything.”


The most important is the word given to myself.

Integrity is defined by promises made to yourself. Responding to other’s requests, we betray ourselves, we lose ourselves.

Fulfilling someone’s order, a request, you expect something in return , some compensation , but the man cannot even understand and appreciate your sacrifices .

It is important to be honest and tell the person how much time you can allocate to he:an hour, a week, one day a week, not forgetting about your purpose and focus.

“In order to succeed, you need to separate yourself from 98% of the world’s population» (Donald Trump).

Questions for homework :

1. Make an honest, candid analysis of your words. What attitude did you have towards words that you say to yourself and others? Give marks to yourself. How are you going to improve?

2. What is the word in your understanding? What is the importance of the word?

3. Majority of people mostly use words to impress? How do you use the word?

4. What are the main reasons for the irresponsible attitude to the words ?

5. Conformity. What is it? Do you suffer from conformity?

6. What percentage of your words do not come back to you in vain? How do you plan to improve on this?

7. What is the relationship between a person’s words and authority, which it uses as an expert, as a person?

8. Integrity – is the percentage of words of others, and its implementation, as well as the ratio of the words given to ourselves and it’s performance. What situation do you have with honesty in words? Prove your answer.

Extracted from Leadership School #7

October 10, 2013, Kiev city

Press center of the church ” Embassy of God “

Translated by: Valeria Mashchenko

Edited by: Sharin Collins 

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