Pastor Sunday Adelaja
Central Church

When emotions and feelings dictate behavior. By Pastor Sunday Adelaja (Leadership School # 7)

What does an emotional reaction say about a person? If a person’s reaction is based on ones feelings, not on truth or facts, it means that this person :
– Does not have a foundation
– Has no system of values ​​
– The person does not live according to  principles and values
– They do not think about the truth
– They have no value or understaning of their identity

– They do not stand firmly with God
 – They do not know the Word of God concerning their life.

 After pastor Sunday repented, he started to work hard on the foundation of values inside of him. The most important thing is what God thinks about him. Pastor established himself in this. If God says I am marvellous and beautifully created, then I am (Psalm 138:4 ), my figure nor my weight could not change that.

 If a woman gets upset after she was told she is ugly, it means so she does not have a strong foundation. She must laugh in the face of such a man and say,-“I am created marvellous and wonderful, I am His image and likeness”.

 If a person hears that, but forgets all the truths of the Word of God at that moment, they become like a‘walking bomb’wich would react to every trifle during the day.

 “EMOTION – IS A BAD ADVISER WHEN YOU NEED TO MAKE A DECISION.”

The goal one should strive for.
It is necessary to build a solid foundation inside so that no event will leave us unsettled.

When we focus on feelings, not on purpose.
Usually, we do not focus on what God wants to teach usor we just miss the truth, this causes us to react according to what we feel. This proves that people’s opinions are more important than God’s opinion.

 A man that does not reject himself is egocentric. When we accept Christ, our ego has to leave the throne.

Life that is based on emotions, and not on purpose.

People live by sensations, feelings, intuition, mood, weather conditions, and events. If something good happens they are happy, if something bad happens then they are sad.

Why do people leave the church? Some people percieve church as a comfort oasis and when they find no more comfort, they go look for another “oasis”. Such people usually say, “There are no longer springs of life at that church”

Example: One girl would change churches every time she was corrected.

Church is a training camp.If pastor Sunday corrects someone, it is only because he knows that Hebrews 12:6 says, “For whom the Lord loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives”.

False setting. Usually we allow ourselves to be corrected and punished only by God. Aman, in our understanding, has no right to do that, because he thinks to himself, “I walk before God”. They think that pastor’s function is to dance, play and entertain us.

 When we are corrected, we want to quickly quiet it with facades and explanations, rather than to allow ourselves to accept the criticism and to comprehend the essence of what was said to us.

“WE NEVER KNOW WHAT EXACTLY WHAT WE THINK AND FEEL TOWARD THE OTHER MAN: WE INTERPRET HIS BEHAVIOR AND FEEL HURT BECAUSE OF OUR OWN PERCEPTIONS OF HIS ACTIONS! “
 

Our response to the remarks.
We want to “quiet” every critical remark that is directed to us, because we want to avoid pain.
 

Value of pain. Pain helps to remove atumor and infection, then the wound is sewn up and the body is cured as a whole.

When we give immediate response
If we immediately reply to any remark, it means that we are rejecting the offer to be helped. By this we want to show that we already changed, reformed and thus, do not give ourselves a chance to go deeper into the topic, to investigate the claims, and to meet with oneself face to face and go through the healing process.

How to school feelings and emotions ?
 

Release your life from 13 useless things

1. Free yourself from always needing to prove your case
There are so many people who can not to resign themselves and accept a different point of view even at risk of breaking off excellent relationships, causing pain and creating stress. It is not worth of it .
 

2 . Stop trying to be in control
Be ready to give up constantly controlling everything that happens with you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether it is family or friends, colleagues or strangers – just let them be as they are.
 

3 . Release the guilt
Do not blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or do not feel. Stop wasting your energy on that and take full responsibility for your life.

4 . Stop the negative self-talk

So many people harm themselves because they allow negative thoughts and emotions to control their lives. Do not trust anything that goes against your logical and reasonable mind. You are much better and can do more than what you think is really possible.
 

5 . Free yourself from the constant desire to complain about a lot of things – People, situations and events that make you unhappy , sad and depressed. No one can make you unhappy, no situation can disappoint you. Not all situations are responsible for your feelings.
 

6. Give up criticism
Stop criticizing people who are different from you, and occurrences that do not meet your expectations. We are all different.

7. Be free from always trying to impress others
Stop pretending to be someone you are not and be who you really are. Remove the mask, accept, and love the real you.

 

8. Stop opposing change
Changes are normal, they are necessary to move us from point  A to point B. Changes helpus to change our lives as well as lives of others for the better.

9. Do not label people
Stop labelling people and on occurrences that you do not know or do not understand.
Open your mind to the newthings little by little.

10. Release your past
It’s difficult, especially when you like your past more than present and the future scares you. But you need to accept the fact that present is all that you have.

11. Become free from fears
Fear – it is just an illusion, it does not exist – you created it. It exists only in your mind. Change your inner attitude and everything outside will change too.

12. Stop making excuses
Expose excuses and retire them. Most often we limit ourselves because of excuses.
 

13. Stop living your life trying to meet people’s expectations
Too many people live a life that is not their own. They live in accordance to other peoples expectatoins, and they think this is better for them.They live according to the expectations of their parents, friends, teachers, government and society. They ignore their inner voice and their inner calling. They are so busy meeting the expectations of others that they are losing control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy and what they really want. In the end they forget about themselves.
 

Habits of Successful People
Successful people do what they haveto do, regardless of how they feel at the moment. They know how to control their emotions. They feel the same emotions as everyone, but they are not slaves to their emotions.

“Everything has turned out all right, if you know how to be patient and trust in God”

( Patriarch Pavle of Serbia ) .

Prayer of German theologian Karl Friedrich Etinger (1702-1782) : LORD, GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THINGS I CAN NOT CHANGE, GIVE ME THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN CHANGE.
AND GIVE ME THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

Summary: the source of happiness should be the result, not emotions .

 “THE REASON FOR HALF OF OUR MISTAKES IS THAT WE FEEL WHEN WE SHOULD THINK, AND THINK WHEN WE SHOULD FEEL!”

Questions for homework:
1. How much emotions dictate your behavior (vote of 1 to 5 points).
2 . When we respond by emotions, what does this mean?
3. If someone say that you are not beautiful, or you look bad, what is your reaction ? And what should your reaction be? What will you do to change your reaction?
4.If feeling and emotions define your behavior, why it is as ign of lack of love for the truth?
5. Practical training: relax, be stilland at this time, imagine yourself in different situations that could plunge you into an emotional reaction. Imagine that you have these situations, try to focus on the target instead of emotion. Describe the result.
6. If we react emotionally or fear public opinion, what does this mean?
7. Why is our response to the remarks an indicator of our relationship to the truth?
8. Why should we not be afraid of pain?
9. What are 10 ways to control your emotions?
10. If we are controlled by the opinion of otherswe lose ourself. Prove this statement.

From Leadership School # 7
October 11, 2013 in Kiev
Press service of the Embassy of God church

Translated by Anna Krets

Edited by Philip Isaacs

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Tila Kaminska
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http://godembassy.com

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