1. People do not always act according to our expectations. It is a mistake not to accept the fact that other people may have a different view of a situation or issue; they may have a different opinion. We cannot demand from everyone to act the way we want them to. “Just because someone doesn’t love you as you wish, it doesn’t mean you’re not loved with all their being”, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Columbian prose writer.Unfulfilled expectations cause resentment; however, we must not get upset because of that, but give people the room for mistakes.
ANYONECANMAKEAMISTAKE: a leader, a pastor, a boss, parents, but it should never change your attitude towards them!
- My father cannot stop being my father just because he is not perfect.
- I cannot be offended at my mother if she has done something I did not expect from her.
- I cannot leave my leader just because they made a mistake in doing something or criticised me.
- I do not stone my benefactor, if he/she has fallen.
We are not created to condemn!
DON’T JUDGE ANOTHER PERSON FOR COMMITTING A SIN DIFFERENT FROM YOURS.
We all make mistakes! Mistakes, sins, transgressions, which we did not notice in someone else, are actually peculiar to us too! No one is perfect and often times we commit an offense, which no one could expect from us. The matter of the fact is that we judge others, but we do not judge ourselves. We view mistakes and sins of others like persecutors, but our own – like lawyers and advocates. Even when we sin explicitly, we ask for understanding, mercy, and cover. However, when we start to judge others, we forget about mercy and forgiveness. Thisisawrongperception.
We must change the root and branch of our attitude to our own mistakes and mistakes of others! We must treat our misbehaviours as judges, and deal with actions of others as lawyers,defenders.
“Referring to misbehaviours of others is the same as washing with mud”,Jan Petitt-San, Austrian moralist.
God Himself will permit other people to let us down, because He does not want us to make idols and cult-heroes for ourselves. He wants us to put our faith and trust only in Him alone.
Our God is a zealous God:“And God spoke all these words, saying: “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage.“You shall have no other gods before Me. “You shall not make for yourself a carved image—any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth”, Exodus 20:1-4.
We can rely and put our inner trust ONLY IN GOD!
2. We must always concede that people may let us down, and so build our relationships in such a way that even if people do let us down, it wouldn’t destroy our plans. If people let us down, it does not mean that they are bad. When you assign someone to do something, you should always have 2-3 backup plans to solve the issue. In any matter one must make provisions for a plan B.
3.Trust in man will cause a curse:
“Thus says the Lord: “Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart departs from the Lord”, Jer. 17:5.
4. We must never idolise a person.
Always remember that any person is just a human with their own positive and negative sides, advantages and disadvantages, virtues and sins. Knowing this, we will not be disappointed every time someone does not justify our hopes. Everyone has their own imperfections; otherwise they would not be human, but the Holy Spirit Himself. We all have faults; however, the most important is for us not to put up with them saying: “Well, what can I do? This is my weakness…” Pressing forward, fighting with one’s faults and weaknesses is perfection. A true righteous person is the one who, having fallen, stands up.
“For a righteous man may fall seven times and rise again, but the wicked shall fall for calamity”, Proverbs 24:16.
5. We all make mistakes and experience failures.
Someone does not treat people fairly; others make wrong decisions, or misuse their money, or have poor moral virtues. But the one, who has made a mistake and strives to fix it, deserves respect.
6. God allows the people, whom we trust, to make mistakes.
He does it for us to set the right goals and not focus on people.
Often when people come to church they lose their focus and goal, because their problems get solved, they find peace and moral comfort: “Why should I strive for something else, if everything is fine the way it is?” Then God Himself pulls the carpet away from under our feet, so we would start striving for the goal, for which He initially created us. God allows us to experience the feeling of dissatisfaction with the actions of people, in whom we had put our trust. Disappointment in people pushes us to the One, Who will never disappoint us!
“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, and whose hope is in the Lord. For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, which spreads out its roots by the river, and will not fear when heat comes; but it`s leaf will be green, and will not be anxious in the year of drought, nor will cease from yielding fruit”, Jeremiah 17:7-8.
7. Do not put your trust in man.
People are not eternal. The death of the loved and respected people may work together for our good. It makes us think about our helplessness and start looking for the One, Who never dies.
“…because “all flesh is as grass, and all the glory of man as the flower of the grass. The grass withers, and its flower falls away, but the word of the Lord endures forever”, 1 Peter 24-25.
8. Trust in man weakens your trust in God.
Misconceptions: if there is a person in whom we put our trust then we do not need God. Why do you need to believe in God, Whom you do not see, if you can solve all your issues here, on earth using obvious and available means? There is no need to strain, pray, and fast.
Sometimes it may seem that God lets us down. This should be a warning bell that must prompt us to see that we have substituted God in our heart with something or someone else; that we have created idols: comfort, our own ego, love, affection to people. Even if we think that God has disappointed us, then it is not God’s fault that we misunderstood or did not understand something.
9. When people let us down it means that God is trying to say something to us.
Because of frustrated hopes we start holding a grudge against somebody. We are indignant at how bad people are and we forget that everything that happens does not happen between us and people, but between us and God! And if God allowed it, then it is only to demonstrate that we have a problem that needs to be solved.
10. When people let us down it allows us to see our own faults; it means that God wants to show us our weaknesses, which we would have never seen otherwise, and therefore, wouldn’t have been able to correct them.
For example, a married woman does not make any efforts to develop, while God is interested in her fulfilling as a personality.
11. When we rely on another person – we endorse our laziness.
If we rely on our secretary or wife to do something for us, it shows that we are lazy and do not want to work ourselves or learn to do something new.
12. God is more interested in our change than in our comfort; therefore, He will organise situations of discomfort to ensure that we change.
13. God is more interested in our growth than in our peace; that’s why He will disturb our peace for us to grow.
14. God wants to set us free from various dependencies.
There are different forms of dependencies, and one of them is dependency on other people. This dependency is hidden, but at the same time it hinders and limits us. For example, if many married women were not disappointed in their husbands, they would most probably not become so dedicated and serious about Christ.
15. Trust in man makes us to set them higher than God, that’s why God allows us to be disappointed in people.
Without our knowledge, we destroy whoever we set higher than God. Spiritual attacks will simply strike them down. As a result destruction of that person will cause destruction to us.
What should we do when people disappoint us?
Very often in our life God allows us to get disappointed in actions of other people in order to perfect us. Instead of complaints against people we must compose ourselves and get our nose dirty, start working on ourselves.
It is important to believe in people that they have good intentions, but not rely on them to the point that if they do something wrong, it would strike the ground from under our feet, destroy our plans, dreams, actions, happiness, and peace of our heart.
Let our credo be: “I BELIEVE MAN, BUT RELY ON GOD”.
I want my family to believe in me, but I would not want them to rely on me, because the moment they do that it will weaken me, it will strike the ground from under my and their feet. They should believe in me, but rely on God.
Even if someone has good intentions, it will not always work to fulfil them; however, it is impossible that something would not work out with God. Man has limitations in love, in sacrifice, in time, in resources, in abilities, in strength, but not God. Therefore, let us put our trust in God, because He does not have limitations!
He is Perfect, Faithful, and Almighty!
For personal growth and victories in all spheres of your life, I recommend you to read my following books:
“How to Learn To Think Or Why Do They Respect Chess Players”, “Illusion of A Busy Life”, “Instructions for A Great Life”
With love and faith in you,
Senior Pastor of the Embassy of God for All Nations Church
Translated by Kateryna Chindove
Edited by Emmanuel Chindove
Cambridge and Oxford Publishing House