My 23rd Wedding Anniversary! (by Bose Dere-Adelaja)

The school of life has taught me to try my best not to take anything for granted and to be grateful for everything, regardless of how big or small it is, or how common or uncommon it is. Easy it is to only see the hardships we face, but there is virtue in appreciating all the things that come our way.

In life, we have both the big moments and the small moments; we have the pleasant and unpleasant ones. We make big and small decisions. We get big and small surprises, blessings, and disappointments, to mention just a few. It is the highs and lows that merge to give life its actual beauty, taste, and depth.

As I, by God’s grace and mercy celebrate my 23rd wedding anniversary, I would like to say and share the following observations and conclusions about marriage:

• Marriage is one of those big moments in life. It is an important stage and significant event. It includes both the wedding and the marriage itself.
• Marriage is special to God, and it is ordained by Him.
• Good marriage is a good and free gift from God. Although, it takes systematic and hard work.
• God, being the giver of this gift, decides whom to give it to, when to give it, and for how long to give it.
• When marriage is given, it is left to the couples to know what they have received, and to value and appreciate it.
• Marriages are special, unique and different. It is imperative for couples to find their own model. Find out what works best for you and stick to it.
• Knowing that all we do in life is not exclusively between us and our spouses, but between us and God, helps walk this road of marriage successfully.
• It is fair to always be reminded that in most cases, marriage will try you. And the more you are in it, the more you will be tried from different angles, sometimes from very unexpected angles. However, all this can either make couples better or bitter people– the choice, of pleasure or pain, is ours.
• Marriage is not a scoreboard. Just do your best and leave the rest to God.
• When necessary, there is room for tough love in a marriage.
• Marriage is not only a romantic venture, it is also a battle to be won constantly.
• Leave room for change in marriage but do not force it.
• There is a fine line between love and hate; your spouse can easily become your enemy.
• Do not lose yourself in a marriage. Keep developing yourself in all areas of interest.
• Your marriage is not perfect. Just capitalize on the good parts and keep improving!
• Think often about how God continues to grow and keep your marriage, and be thankful for what you have!
• Good communication still has the lion’s share in a successful marriage relationship.
• Every day, couples choose to end their marriage. Protect your marriage in a healthy way as much as you can. For every marriage that “makes it,” they have had to fight through things that others have chosen not to fight through.
• Even if the undesirable happens and you experience an inevitable divorce, that does not automatically make you a failure. Marriage is the joint effort of two – you may be successful in your marriage, while your partner is struggling or experiencing failure. So, the breakup of a union does not necessarily make you a failure, and afterwards, there is life, and even a good life after divorce. It is up to you to find it!
• You are not better than those, whose marriage ended badly, so try to face your business and do not criticize others in their misery.
• Be kind in words, considerate of feelings, and concerned for each other’s needs and wishes. Be understanding and forgiving of human weaknesses and failings.
• Always remember and honor the wedding vow: “To have and to hold, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death separates us.”
• Pray for your marriage.

In conclusion, I am grateful to God, to my husband, parents, children, friends, well-wishers and to any other who has in any way, small or big, contributed to my happiness.

I wish you all peace and happiness!

Thank you!