“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.” (Ex.20:12) In spite of the fact that God is love, in this commandment He speaks about honour. Honour is the highest form of love. It is possible to love and not honour, but there is no honour without love. A respectful attitude includes profound respect and a reverential sense of gratitude. True honour demands a more honourable address to a person: (In the Russian language there are two ways one can address a person: “ You” in an honourable and formal sense, and “You” informally as in the French language “tu” and “vous”), which makes it impossible to offend the person, raise one’s voice and all the more to raise one’s hand.
The direct opposite of honour is familiarity. Familiarity is a very common sin. When a person behaves in a buddy-buddy way, without proper greetings to parents, leaders, and bosses, they lose God’s grace. “It is like the precious oil poured on the head, running down on the beard, running down on Aaron’s beard, down upon the hem of his robes.” (Ps.133:2). Precious oil pours from the head, that is why when we put parents on the same level or even lower ourselves we lose a multitude of blessings that could have been received through the vertical power structure.
God is the Creator of Universe. Our parents are the creators of our lives. God gave them this status. God entrusted us to these peculiar parents that is why our attitude towards them must be holy, reverential fear, as unto God. If a person honours his parents he automatically honours God. If a man does not respect parents he will not respect God. Only demons and evil spirits can drive a son or daughter to exalt themselves over their parents, have a scornful attitude, arrogance or indifference. One’s attitude towards one’s parents is indicative of one’s attitude towards God.
In many cases, we will not understand our parents: “They have said wrong things, done wrong things or done nothing at all. I was raised on the street, but not by my parents. My father was an alcoholic. In other words, I did not have a father”. It is possible that your parents’ views are too different from our own mentality and life principles; maybe they do not correspond to the way we understand life. It is possible that our parents really are wrong. God Himself will reveal shortcomings and faults of our parents to us. And we need to see it as God’s trust to us! God trusts to see the “nakedness” of our parent (or pastor, or boss)! It means that He considers us to be mature enough and has decided to take us to a higher level!
The weakness of our father, mother or leader does not give us permission to mock or gossip about them; neither to have a scornful attitude towards them. This is not a reason for us to leave our parents, hurt them by our indifference or non-recognition of their parental authority. On the contrary, it is a perfect opportunity to show our faithfulness, support, nobility and truly unselfish love and honour.
IN HUMILIATING ONE’S PARENTS A PERSON HUMILIATES HIMSELF, BUT COVERING THEIR SHAME ELEVATES HIM. Even if they severely offended you, failed to help you, abandoned you, hated or hate you even now, you have no right to repay them in the same way! THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR DISHONOUR!
The truth is stronger than facts or our truth! The truth cries out: “HONOUR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER!” Only when we love the truth and live accordance with it, do true growth, prosperity and success come into our life. The truth raises one up, gives longevity and good gifts.
For example: we know that a child is connected to his mother by the umbilical cord. He grows and lives because of that umbilical cord, but if that connection does not exist or function, the child will die. The umbilical cord is the symbol of close and reverential relationships. When we honour our parents we will have success, growth and prosperity! But if there is an absence of honour and profound gratitude in our heart, we are breaking the umbilical cord of a happy, successful and healthy life, whilst signing a death warrant, sawing the very branch we are sitting on.
Let’s look at a baby. He is absolutely helpless, does not understand what is going on, his life is in the hands of his parents. A baby does not analyze to find somebody, who is stronger, wiser or better, because his/her parents are his/her source of everything! Once we were such babies! Let us never forget that! Our children will treat us the way we treat our parents.
Irresponsibility, disobedience, neglect, indifference toward our parents lead to death, difficulties in business, absence of happiness (even if a person earns an arm and a leg), no future, dissatisfaction, and inability to find a calling or fulfill it. Many people wander and often change jobs. These are the signs of a curse due to dishonor of parents. If the link with one’s parents is broken that person is fruitless. He cannot get married, or give birth to children, and has numerous divorces.
Summary: Even if your parents hate you, allow God to be their judge. You are obliged to love, bless, and prove your honour to your parents by your deeds!
“If from your childhood you have not learned to look at your mother’s eyes and see anxiety, peace or confusion, – you will stay a moral ignoramus for your whole life. Moral ignorance like savagery in love brings people a lot of grief, and harm to a society”, Sukhomlinsky V.A.
Dishonour leads to the death of not only children, but parents. IN SHOWING DISHONOUR TO ONE’S PARENTS, A MAN DISCONNECTS THEM FROM THE SOURCE OF VITAL ENERGY.
While a child is small parents give him power, time, energy and according to the spiritual law this energy must return to them when they are weak. This exchange of energies is an exclusive circle of life support, but by dishonouring one’s parents a person cuts it off!
When children treat parents arrogantly and withold their love, they dishonour them, and thus cut off their oxygen supply, an access to the source of energy. As a result parents die early (on average between 60-65 years old).
By one’s honour or dishonour he influences his entire generation, descendants and country.
When there is no honour for our parents – and above all, no honour for the first parent of all, for our God, – then there is no transfer of love energy, no cooperation, no interconnection, and no succession of generations. As a consequence early death of parents takes place. Future generations repeat the faults of dishonour and as a result death comes. The circle is locked. Thereby, extinction of the whole family line and nation takes place.
For instance: small children die due to oncology and other serious “adult” diseases. Children suffer a punishment earned by parents or grandparents by their wrong attitude to God and their parents.
“An ungrateful son is worse than a stranger: he is criminal, because a son has no right to be indifferent to his mother,” Maupassant G.
How can we bring energy back to our parents? BY TAKING CARE OF OUR PARENTS, supporting them financially, presenting useful gifts, helping them with medical treatment or rest in a sanatorium if necessary, doing simple, but useful favours. For example; bringing a beautiful rose to one’s mother or asking for advice from one’s elderly father.
Concern about parents even if they are wealthy is a breath of life from every son or daughter. Even if relationships are broken it is never too late to start everything from scratch, and restore relationships of love, honour and respect. It is never too late to place everything on JESUS CHRIST the solid rock. It is necessary for our own deliverance, and to protect further generations from a curse. Everything is possible with God!
Respect is a tribute that every grateful son is obliged and is able to give to his parents.
“We have received a great and priceless gift from our parents; life. They fed and raised us sparing neither their power nor love; and now when they are old and sick it is our duty to take care of them by covering them with care, love, gratitude, and honour!”
For profound studying of this topic I recommend you read the following books:
“Grateful heart”, “Honour people” by Sunday Adelaja
“Honour is the way to grateness” by Sunday Adelaja, Olga Bukova
With great honour,
The Senior Pastor of the Embassy of God church
P.S. Prayer in solitude:
1) By what deeds can you show an honour to parents, leaders and pastors.
2) For qualitative and timely accomplishment of all construction and finishing works of the Ukrainian Cultural and Spiritual Center.
3) Burn fire of your heart. Crave for and share the burden of pastor Sunday. To be not a parishioner, but a true follower, someone who supports, not just as a “visitor”.
Translated by Valeria Granova
Edited by Kizito Leacock