Father. Mother. They are precious people who gave us life not sparing themselves, their abilities, or their love. Why is it then, that when we become adults, independent of our parents, we do not remember and do not value precious input given to us by our parents such as time, care, love, efforts, happy moments of unity, life training, support in difficult moments? In July, the month of the family, we will endeavour to revive, resuscitate, multiply and strengthen the connection to the most important people in our life.
Deutoronomy 5:16 : “Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the LORD your God is giving you.”
Unfortunately, “There are those who curse their fathers and do not bless their mothers” (Proverbs 30:11) There are people who think they are not obliged to their parents. Is this true? Can we assert that our parents have not done anything for us? Let us ponder it together. Before you were born your mother was carrying you for 9 months. She sacrificed herself for this entire period. 40 weeks, or 280 days, she had to overcome toxicosis, discomfort in order to give a child the opportunity to form properly in her womb and become viable. Just imagine what it means to be pregnant. It means to not have any opportunity to put aside your burden. Not even for a day, not for a minute, not for a second, during those 9 months! It is hard for a woman to even sleep, eat or walk. For example, it is not easy to carry the same cloth or computer during a long period of time, not having any chance to leave it for a minute. Your mum was on the verge of death, risking her life in order to give life to you. According to world statistics, every minute, one woman dies during childbirth or pregnancy. Altogether, ten million women die in every generation. In Russia, during childbirth or pregnancy, every thousandth woman dies, and in Ukraine the risk of death is calculated to be one in two thousand pregnant women. 10% of pregnant women become insane.
At the time of giving birth a woman feels up to 57 del (measuring unit of the level of pain), though a human body can bear only up to 45 del. This is similar to 27 bones getting fractured at once! Your mother sacrificed sleep at night, waking up several times to feed you, and change your pampers when you were a helpless baby.
Then kindergarten, school. Did you nurse yourself? When did you start to worry about clothes, shoes and food? But mother or parents knew that every day they had to go to work to provide a roof over your head, clothes, shoes, food, and to give you an education.
Now you are young, cute and full of energy. Well, once your mother was like you. Have you ever thought about where her youth, beauty and health have gone? She spent all her life to raise you, give education to help you to become someone significant. We have not even thought about it. Consider that we have taken everything for granted, and that this is pure selfishness! “Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.” (Proverbs 23:22)
After all the aforesaid does anybody have the moral right to say or claim:”My mom gave hasn’t done anything for me, my parents have not given me anything, other parents help their children, but not mine.” Is there nothing listed above that applies to you? It is not possible to take all of these for granted, and such an attitude causes curses in our lives!“The eye that mocks a father, that scorns obedience to a mother, will be pecked out by the ravens of the valley, will be eaten by the vultures.” (Proverbs 30:17)
Our problem is that we expect a reciprocal reaction from our parents comparing the way our parents treated us, to that of our siblings,, and it causes an attitude that negatively influences all our life: “Everyone owes me!” But the Scripture warns us: “If a man curses his father or mother, his lamp will be snuffed out in pitch darkness.” (Proverbs 20:20)
If anyone has the question do we owe our mother, what percentage of your income belongs to her? I would answer: “EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING must belong to your mother! ” He who robs his father or mother and says, “It’s not wrong”–he is partner to him who destroys.” (Proverbs 28:24)
Bow your knees before her and say:
“Mum, I want to prove to you that you did not give birth to a selfish, unthankful son/daughter, but a worthy one. Mum, you will no longer know what tears or sufferings are, because I am beside you. I take responsibility for you, you no longer have to work and worry how much is the rent of your apartment, or he cost of meals and all other necessities. So here is the key to your new apartment, and your new car – now you can enjoy the fruit of your labour! Enjoy life!!
Mum, you fulfilled your part, paid your price, and I will release you from any burden. I will not allow anyone to offend or harm you. I will provide for your protection, you can lean on my shoulder as once I could rely on yours. I will make your life brighter, you will not leave this world with tears, pains, regrets or disappointments.”
This is the duty of any grateful child who has been raised well.
Since I was 25 years old I have practically been paying a salary to my mum even though she did not raise me. I provided a house for her and I take care of her, her husband, their children as well as my wife’s parents.
Probably you have heard more than once mum’s typical response: “I DO NOT NEED ANYTHING, I ONLY WANT YOU TO BE WELL!” What does your mother imply? “Do not pay attention to me. I have no hopes for a better future, the main thing is that you do well in life. It is too late for me to enjoy happiness, I no longer dream of happiness. I have resigned before reaching my destiny. I have already sacrificed myself. I have no chance to see a good life anyway. My life is meaningless. My life is lost. Probably only you can justify my existence on earth if you can be happy, then my life would not be in vain.”
Let’s break this mentality by our love demonstrated with action.
Now is the time you can:
- Help your mother, father.
- Prove your love to them
- Say thank you.
Soon they will perish and you will burst into tears, but it will not be possible to change anything.
Let’s start to value our parents. “An ungrateful son is worse than somebody else’s: he is criminal, because a son has no right to be indifferent to his mother.” (Guy de Maupassant) When you become a mother or father your eyes will open and you will understand what your parents have done for you, but it will be too late. You will be surprised how she managed with all this, but you will not have anybody to convey your gratitude to. When you eventually start earning enough money to provide them with an apartment and a car, they will not be there anymore, and you won’t be able to thank them.
Hurry up and say thank you to your parents by your actions and care!
Now you have this chance, an opportunity to give thanks to your mother or father.
As V. G. Belinskiy said:” Love and respect towards parents without any doubt is a holy feeling.”
For profound studying of this topic I recommend you read the following books: “ Grateful heart”, “Honour people”, “Dynamics of family life”, “Wedding made on the Heavens” Apostle Ulysses Tuff
With love and faith,
The Senior Pastor of the Embassy of God church Sunday Adelaja
P.S. Directions for prayer in your personal prayer retreats:
1) For respectful relationships in families
2) For quality and timely completion of all construction and interior works of UCSC (Ukrainian Cultural and Spiritual Centre).
3) For a new level of influence of Pastor Sunday and his team in Ukraine and the whole world.
Translated by Marina Yaroshevych, Anna Krets
Edited by Kizito Leacock